One of the first things you're going to want to do once you have found out that your husband has had an affair is confide in your family and friends. You're going to be looking for support, and who can blame you? Dating.com The problem is that telling those closest to you will often have an effect on any hope for a marriage reconciliation.
Rounding up the people around you
to be in your corner may have a profound negative effect on any hope for
reconciliation. You may not be able to completely repair your spousal
relationship once you have told your friends and family. It is hard enough to
get a grip on the thoughts and emotions that you're currently feeling and sort
them out on your own. It can be even harder when you are exposed to differing
opinions and insights.
Your emotions are completely out of
control once you have discovered that an affair has taken place. At one moment
you will be wanting to escape from the world and at the next moment you'll be
wanting comfort from your loved ones.
Getting the right type of support
Dr. Frank Gunzburg, a professional
that has been working with married couples after such a marital crisis, offers
the following Eharmony.com review advice for
finding the right type of support.
1. Selectively confide in people
Before sending out a public
broadcast, figure out who you can trust to be there with you as a true friend.
Selectively confide only in the people that you know will support you and won't
fly off the handle in an all-out campaign against your partner. That isn't
going to prove helpful for anybody in the end. You need time to think your
thoughts out and need to be surrounded by people that will let you talk to get
things sorted.
2. Let your needs be known
Deep down you already know that it
is not the best idea to let everyone around you know about the affair. These
are intimate and personal details that should not be shared with everybody.
Everyone you talk to is going to
have their own opinion about the affair and are going to tell you what they
would do if they found themselves in the same situation. This is all based on
theory and what would happen if the world was perfect. It is a very striking
difference to Lovinga have something actually happen to you and have to
deal with that than to work with theories about what you would do if something
should happen.
The best thing to do is to let your
family and friends know what you need. It is always best to be truthful and
honest when dealing with your peer support group. If you don't want to hear
their opinions about your situation and don't want any advice, let them know.
Tell them that you are working things out on your own and only need a friendly
ear as a sounding board. Your true friends and family will respect your wishes
and this will leave you free to ask for advice when you are ready.
3. Don't go through it alone
It is important to have some type
of support group in place to help you get through the painful emotions. As
humans we all need to rely on others to provide strength in times of need.
You'll need help to get through
this rough time and you also must prevent yourself from curling up into a shell
and avoiding the world. When you are able to talk about the affair and the
after-effects your burden will be eased. The more you are able to talk about your
feelings and emotions the more you will be able to work through the negative
energy and find solutions.
Find a support group that you
trust, let them know what you need and use them to your benefit. You'll
discover during this course of treatment that you have true friends that are
really there for you and will be able to gather more strength to help you deal
with the situation.
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