Will my marriage ever be like it used to be before the cheating incident? We were so happy together before the affair. ArabianDate.com Do you ever think that we can capture the happiness that we felt in our marriage before the affair happened?
These types of sentiments are some
of the most common questions that I hear in my practise everyday. It's actually
this type of thinking that leads to divorce though. The reason for this is
simple is that you should not want to get back to how things were before in
your marriage as the previous state of affairs was not ideal to begin with.
It's important to be clear here
that the blame for the having the affair lies firmly at the door of the cheater
but that it seems unlikely that your partner would have cheated in first place
if the marriage itself was working well.
So you can romanticise the past the
past all you want and you can focus on all the wonderful experiences that you
had in the past but the truth is that the last thing you want to do is to go
back to the past. EliteSingles.com review To do is
to ask for trouble.
This type of romantic blinkered
thinking is also not going to permit you to look at the fundamental problems in
the marriage that led to the affair in the first place. If you want to improve
your marriage you need to let go the past and think about what kind of marriage
you want in the future. Looking to the future like this and looking at what
qualities that you want your marriage to possess is the key to a new and more
fulfilling marriage in the future. If you are to move forward you will need to
accept that the affair that happened and that it changed the course the
marriage was taking forever and there is no getting around this fact or
avoiding it. To pretend that you can live your life unaffected by the affair is
to be naive and unrealistic. What is more realistic is to work with the
memories and emotions that are there as a result of the affair and you will
find that they begin to transform Tubit over time affecting you less and less in the process.
If you acknowledge and learn the
lessons from what happened in the marriage it will also lead to a strong, more
vibrant and happy relationship than you had previously as hard as that seems to
take on board at the moment.
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