I sometimes get correspondence from unfaithful spouses who truly are trying to do the "right thing," by ending the affair and by cutting off all contact, but they are having a hard time following everything Bumble.com Reviews through. They may be experiencing feelings or doubts that they never anticipated.
Someone might explain it this way:
"honestly, I never fooled myself into thinking that I loved or even cared
for the other person in my affair. I was always very clear on the fact that it
was just something to relieve boredom and stress at a difficult time in my
life. I'm having a lot of issues at work that I kept from my spouse because I
knew that if I shared this with him, he would freak out about our finances and
worry when he did not need to. I wasn't as careful as I thought though because
my husband found out about the affair and was more devastated and upset than I
ever thought possible. So I knew that I had to end the affair and I didn't
anticipate that it would difficult. I did it the very same day and the other
man did not argue or try to change my mind. He simply accepted it. I do not
think that he was emotionally involved either. I thought that this would be a
relatively simple process, but I was wrong. I find myself missing the other
man. I have called him a couple of times. I can't seem to totally stay away. I
do not understand Bumble this
because I know without any doubt that I was not in love with him. I want my
marriage. I love my husband. So why can I not just break totally free? Why is
it so hard when there weren't even deep feelings involved?"
This is only my opinion, but even
when there aren't deep feelings, there can still be a deep pay off as well as
deep habits. Even if there were not necessarily deep-emotional needs there,
there may have been some sort of emotional or physical need that got met. You
may have been getting some emotional outlet there instead of in your marriage.
And that may have become a habit. Now that you no longer have the affair for
that and you have gotten out of the habit of turning to your marriage for all
of those needs, there is bound to be a void. And of course you are going to
feel that void.
It's easy to get into habits like
this and then to have to create new ones when this habit comes to an end. Even
if the habit wasn't a good one and you didn't particularly like the habit - it
can be hard to break.
However, the difficulty of it does
not mean that you need to abandon what you know is the right thing to do. You
know Bumble.com that you
should stay true to your word and eliminate all contact. You can't take back
the fact that you have slipped and reached out once again, but you have
complete control of what you do from today forward.
Make things a little more difficult
on yourself. Stay busy so that you don't have time to think too much about it.
If you have any spare or down time, spend it with your husband. Work very hard
on restoring your marriage. If you are getting your needs met through your
marriage, then you no longer have any need to seek out or think about the other
man.
Any time that you are tempted to
reach out again, stop yourself and turn your attention to your marriage and
your goals. I know that this may be quite a challenge now, but as you break
that habit, it will get easier and easier. And you will show yourself (and your
husband) that you are a person of integrity that follows through on your
promises. This is necessary in order to restore the trust that has been lost
and in order to heal from the affair.
Breaking it off abruptly and
completely can be very difficult, but it is the cleanest and most decisive way
to do it. Making a clean break avoids confusion and fluctuating feelings. There
is no need to confuse the other person and to get their hopes up by keeping
them in your life. Let them go. Turn your attention to your marriage and
continue doing what you know is right.
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