First, we need to define what exactly an emotional affair is. It usually contains no physical intimacy, but does include a strong emotional intimacy. They can begin innocently, but then usually progresses into more secretive communication. This can include texting, messaging, EliteSingles.com Reviews or even meeting in person. I have created a list of nine key signs that show an emotion affair occurring. Keep in mind that while reading you yourself might discover your own dangerous "friendship" in the making.
1. Intimacy avoidance: When
developing an emotional affair most will begin to forgo intimacy with their
partner. This can include avoidance to conflict and a strong fear of closeness
to your partner. This will cause a new desire for connection with another
person whether it's an acquaintance, or an already stable friend.
2. Approval seeking: By avoiding
issues in a relationship and settling for a false intimacy causes a need for
approval from others. So what happens when you find someone who hangs onto your
every word? Who's put you on a pedestal higher than the clouds? You aren't
sleeping with them, so it's not a real affair right? By allowing yourself to
believe that this new person EliteSingles accepts
who you truly are, you might begin to blame your real partner for not providing
that same validation.
3. Pimp tenderness: You might be
wondering what "pimp tenderness" means; think of it as someone who
shows intense emotional affection towards another person. When it comes to an
emotional affair, this usually entails an almost "unmatched" concern
for their life. You might feel the need to defend them around your partner if
they're brought up negatively; your other friends might see your new friendship
as a little too close or even odd. If your real partner does something you find
irritating you might compare them with this new friend. Like a pimp, you have
raised your affair partner onto a pedestal where they provide you with the
emotional intimacy you EliteSingles.com feel your
real relationship lacks. The moment you feel that others are getting in the way
of your time with this "friend" you'll know you've official started
an emotional affair.
4. Relational lethargy: In every
relationship, couples will have their own ups and downs. Some last longer than
others, and sometimes it will feel like you're putting in far more than you're
getting out. Relational lethargy can cause you to justify your actions by
believing that your partner doesn't truly care or doesn't want to be around
you. You'll tell yourself that it's "so easy" around your
"friend" and how effortlessly it feels to be around them
5. Objectification: During this
time you'll begin to only see the negative aspects of your partner in order to
push away the denial and guilt from the affair. When your mate raises concerns
about this "friend" you'll brush it off as them being jealous or
petty. You'll even start to objectify your affair partner in order to sustain
the affair. Most of the affair has revolved around you seeing them as almost god-like.
They are the most intelligent, talented, or even the most beautiful person in
the whole world. They have consumed your own world. And by enhancing their
qualities and traits, it will only justify your decision to continue the
affair.
6. Minimization: When someone has
an affair, whether it's emotional or physical, you'll begin to minimize the
impact of your overall actions. How can it truly hurt anyone if you're only
spending time together talking? During this time you won't consider how it
could affect your other friendships, your children, and most of all: your
actual relationship with your partner.
7. Self-deception: By convincing
yourself that you're just as wonderful as your affair partner, then you'll have
obtained the maximum benefit from your new found relationship. You'll ask
"why hadn't I found them earlier"? Or "why couldn't my real
partner see me as they do"? The self-deception will cause you to suspend
reality and see yourself on the pedestal from your affair partner's eyes.
8. Be an emotional confidant: The
whole point of why an emotional affair starts is to find the emotional intimacy
lacking in your actual relationship. Many will also try to be the primary
source of support for their affair partner aw well. By them looking to you as
their main confidant will increase your own importance in their life.
9. Develop common interests: By
finding common interests together such as hiking, painting, or working out,
you'll begin to find new reasons to spend more time together. It can increase
feelings of exclusivity and will feed into the denial that you two are only
"friends."
Remember this list isn't set in
stone, but its a good indicator to understanding if an emotional affair is
developing or is already established. No matter where your relationship
currently is, whether you are on the path to fulfillment or on the road to
recovery after an affair, it's a journey that is not designed to be done alone.
Comments
Post a Comment